Today I’m going to vent about a writing pet peeve I have. It’s when writers try to do more than one thing simultaneously in your writing.

Now, by this I don’t mean trying to infuse sensory details while evoking emotional responses. That’s part of good writing. What I’m talking about is having someone walk down the steps as they’re running their fingers through their hair,
or talking to their sister while they’re looking at the man across the room.
Those two words, as and while, have become words that immediately jump off the page for me when I’m editing projects for clients. They tend to point to someone trying to either tell me what is going on or someone trying to do too many things at one time.
Remember, in writing we can only see one thing at a time. That means that you have to describe one action, the implications and then move on to the next action. By trying to tell me two things are happening simultaneously you’re going to pull me out of story world. Things are going to jump out of order and it’s going to distract me as a reader.
So make sure as you’re going through your writing and your personal revisions that you look out for the words as and while. Whenever you see those make sure that you’re not trying to describe two physical actions happening simultaneously.
Instead go in and change up those words and infuse more detail. Take your reader deeper down into your character.

Don’t miss a single posting! Subscribe here to receive these postings by e-mail. Tiffany Colter is a writer, speaker and writing career coach who works with beginner to published writers. She can be reached through her website at writingcareercoach.com.

This blog originally appeared on March 30, 2009. It is an extremely popular blog as it shows how editing helps you in the writing process. I hope you will enjoy this re-release of this blog.

One of my coaching students emailed me last week to do an edit. I gave her a very detailed critique on her opening paragraph. I then thought that what I shared might help other writers so I asked her permission to share it with you.

I have kept her anonymous to protect the innocent [and if she is entering Genesis she will want to STAY anonymous] but, if she chooses to reveal herself in the comments, I hope she’ll tell you some of how she applied all of this to her full WIP. Please pay particular attention to the ways to construct questions in the reader’s mind. It is not the only way, but it is one way. The key is understanding WHY you want to do that and how it will help you improve your writing.

For those of you who have wondered about my editing and coaching, this is a sample of what you get. I hope it will help all of you.

Her opening read:

I gripped the steering wheel as Nikko slept in his kennel in the back of the jeep. The phone call that interrupted dinner was from Sheriff Logan, telling me a six year old girl went missing. The longer the child is missing the more difficult to pick up the scent. So far, they have not been successful.
Before leaving Boones Creek, I drove through McDonalds at the edge of town for a cup of strong coffee. Nikko had water in his kennel, besides he sleeps while I’m driving.
***

This is what I said to her:

I really see that you’ve improved.

As I started the first paragraph I started some changes [suggestions] to you. Look below-

You gripping the steering wheel and Nikko sleeping aren’t related. It is better to say something like.

I gripped the steering wheel and tried to process everything Sheriff Logan had said. Behind me Nikko slept soundly in his kennel. His near silent breathing the only noise besides the thundering of my heart. Another girl missing, a six year old, and Nikko and I were needed. Every second that ticked past would make the scent harder for Nikko to pick up. How long had she been missing? How old was the scent?

Nikko let out a muffled whimper from his slumber. Was he dreaming of chasing a rabbit through the woods or was he running to escape the nightmares like I do?
***

I want to tell you what it is I was doing here and why. Gripped is a GREAT verb but we need more. Therefore I have her gripping the steering wheel PROCESSING what the Sheriff said. Immediately the reader starts to wonder what the sheriff said, what her relationship with the sheriff is, what we are going to find out next. She could have heard a loved one was dead. Maybe she is under suspicion for a crime. We don’t know. So the reader will keep reading to find out the answer.

You had the dog sleeping in the kennel but it seemed like a distraction before BUT by HEARING the breathing it engages more of our senses and we start to experience the scene a bit more. Now we are in a car, there is a dog sleeping behind her and we can hear it breathe. “But what did the sheriff say and what does this DOG have to do with anything?” The reader still wonders.

Her heart is thundering. She is gripping the steering wheel. Both indicate stress or fear…hmmm, the reader wonders why.

Next, a girl is missing. And the heroine is needed with the dog. Okay, he is a service dog. A blood hound? A cadaver dog? No, the next sentence indicates that the scent could grow cold. That means we hope the girl is still alive. So the reader keeps reading because we still have the unanswered question of why the narrator is so upset? Then we learn of the time constraint. We want to yell to her “Stop sitting there!!! Go find the girl !!!”

Then we HEAR the dog again [see, how we have touch and hearing weaving through this scene]. Anyone familiar with a dog knows what this sounds like, but we add a sinister twist to it. The heroine wonders if the dog is dreaming happily or if it is tortured LIKE SHE IS!!

This question of her internal struggle is “BRIDGING CONFLICT”. Go look at it in “Writing the Breakout Novel” and you’ll see it’s function. This is a lingering question you don’t want to answer too quickly. This is ALL just the opening paragraph. The FIRST paragraph of your story. Compare this to what you wrote and you’ll see that I simply added some unspoken questions to the readers mind as they read. You see some I introduced and then quickly answered. Others I introduced and left unanswered.

The big thing is add more senses. You have a great framework to do this with. You had the dog sleeping, I introduced the sound of his snores…

So read through and start to think of places you can include sensory details [the five senses]…and try to associate many of them with an emotion as well. “The comforting smell of pine pulled her back to grandma’s house and the pine trees that bristled outside her window at night. It was her safe place and the one she always imagined escaping to when life at home became too terrifying.” Do you see how you’ve learned a bit about the character, her relationship with her grandma and her childhood all because of a smell?

So, look over your MS and see how you can add those things [we don't want to over do it. Descriptions are like salt. =) ]

I hope this helps.

***
So, if you’ve ever wondered what I do when I coach and offer edits, now you know. I hope all of you will see a nugget in here that will help you in your writing. If you have any questions you can contact me through my website www.WritingCareerCoach.com or www.TheBalancedLife.com

Don’t miss a single posting! Subscribe here to receive these postings by e-mail. Tiffany Colter is a writer, speaker and writing career coach who works with beginner to published writers. She can be reached through her website at writingcareercoach.com.

I just completed the book The Pleasure of My Company a book about a highly neurotic man on a quest to normalcy. I picked up this book because it was not only written but read by Steve Martin [yes, THAT Steve Martin], so if the writing was bad the reading would be amusing.

                I was captured by the humor and the incredible characterization in this story. As with every book I searched for ways to improve my own writing during the process of reading.

                This book had one of the best endings of any book I’ve read in a very long time. I would put it among the top 5 endings of ANY book. It was the type that cannot be shared because it would spoil the entire the book. It ended when the story ended rather than jamming in needless [and useless] words just to hit an artificial word count. The ending was incredibly satisfying and logical. There were no cheap theatrics, it simply was.

                The ending always sells your next book and this story absolutely sold the next book to me.

                Here at Writing Career Coach I spend a good bit of time telling you ways to market your writing. I interview authors to introduce you to different ways of marketing your writing and looking at your career. None of that matters if you don’t deliver.

                So here is today’s assignment, what is your ending? Where are you going? How is your main character going to grow and develop over the course of your story? Why is someone going to invest hours of their time to live the life of your characters?

                How are you going to end? Tell us some of your ideas in the comments.

Don’t miss a single posting!  Subscribe here to receive these postings by e-mail.

Tiffany Colter is a writer, speaker and writing career coach who works with beginner to published writers. She can be reached through her website at writingcareercoach.com

Tiffany is a speaker and teacher. Find out about available topics for your group’s next event.

Tiffany is a National Examiner. Read her articles here.

Learn more about Tiffany’s Marketing techniques on her main blog.

Common-sense money management is free at The Balanced Life website.

Read Tiffany’s award winning manuscript “A Face in the Shadow” on her fiction blog.

She writes a blog for the Christian writer Tuesdays at Writer’s Rest.

   In our previous blog we talked about writing within a specific genre. In this blog I might seem to contradict myself a bit, but stick with me.

     While it is very important to spend a good deal of time reading in our own genre, after a while we will gravitate to a certain author and then we will begin to sound more like that particular author than we will a genre. That is why you must also spend time reading outside your genre. There are a couple of reasons reading outside your genre is useful to building your writing craft and your professional writing career.

1. As I’ve shared in previous blogs, reading in different genres can add depth to your writing in ways you won’t get by only reading your genre.
2. One other benefit is we have less of a tendency to analyze writing that is outside our genre. That means we are able to read for the simple joy of the story rather than trying to extract wisdom from every sentence.

     One final thing, be sure you’re reading industry magazines as well as books to help you develop as a writer. I read The Writer and Writer’s Digest. Both are tremendously helpful in developing your craft and keeping you on track in your writing.

     Just as an architect works on designs and an athlete conditions their muscles, writers must continually train through reading and writing if we are ever going to be able to communicate with our readers.

Tiffany Colter is a writer, speaker and writing career coach who works with beginner to published writers. She can be reached through her website at writingcareercoach.com

Tiffany is a speaker and teacher. Find out about available topics for your group’s next event.

Tiffany is a National Examiner. Read her articles here.

Learn more about Tiffany’s Marketing techniques on her main blog.

Common-sense money management is free at The Balanced Life website.

Read Tiffany’s award winning manuscript “A Face in the Shadow” on her fiction blog.

She writes a blog for the Christian writer Tuesdays at Writer’s Rest.

Over the next few blogs I’m going to really hone in on clarity. Lingering questions are the key to excellent craft but if you ever want your writing to be published there must be some clarity on a few things.

Today think about your goals. Are they clearly defined? You want to be published? When? Where? What form? What genre? What publication or Which project?

Do you even think about these questions? Do you say “I want to be published next year” or do you say, “I want to have my WIP “Awesome Book” completed and at least three queries out by August 2010”?

Does it seem I am really beating on this right now? It is because in the course of working with authors in my Writing Career Coach program I find that most people are extremely ambivalent. They are afraid of failure and are thus stuck in this persistent “One day” mentality.

So, write a clear goal for each day this week. What is ONE thing you will do each day? whatever your goal determine going in how doing this will help advance your writing career. That will give a real value to your goal and make you more likely to follow through.

Tiffany Colter is a writer, speaker and writing career coach who works with beginner to published writers. She can be reached through her website at writingcareercoach.com

Tiffany is a speaker and teacher. Find out about available topics for your group’s next event.

Tiffany is a National Examiner. Read her articles here.

Learn more about Tiffany’s Marketing techniques on her main blog.

Common-sense money management is free at The Balanced Life website.

Read Tiffany’s award winning manuscript “A Face in the Shadow” on her fiction blog.

She writes a blog for the Christian writer Tuesdays at Writer’s Rest.

  I want to dispel a rumor today. In writing you will not EVER reach the place that your writing success will make you happy if you are expecting a certain level to be “it”. When I started writing I really thought that there would be a spot where I would suddenly be a real writer. A real writer is a person who daily pursues the craft, builds their sphere of influence [platform], and continually watches life around them. It is a person who sees life in a different way.

                So, instead of trying to figure out when you will become a real writer, live the writing life. Keep a notebook in your pocket. Live in the world of interior monologue. Think of creative ways to describe every sight and emotion. Then take the time to write it down.

                People will tell you that you can’t be a writer. People will try to limit you by defining you based on their standards. Instead of getting caught up in all of that, focus on what you can control. Your writing.

 Tiffany Colter is a writer, speaker and writing career coach who works with beginner to published writers. She can be reached through her website at http://www.writingcareercoach.com/

Tiffany is a speaker and teacher. Find out about available topics for your group’s next event.

Tiffany is a National Examiner. Read her articles here.

Learn more about Tiffany’s Marketing techniques on her main blog.

Common-sense money management is free at The Balanced Life website.

Read Tiffany’s award winning manuscript “A Face in the Shadow” on her fiction blog.

She writes a blog for the Christian writer Tuesdays at Writer’s Rest.

Here is an exercise to help you with your craft today. In the comments write the following scene but within your genre. Let the tone, description and pace of this small scene be guided by the time period, mood of the scene, genre of the book, etc.

A man and woman are walking outside. Both are hungry.

How much tension can you make of this prompt? How many problems could you realistically throw at them? Will it even matter at the end of the scene that they were hungry or is that just what brought them to the place of conflict? Or will a new secret be revealed over dinner.

Be creative and tell us the genre and time period you’re writing in. Have fun with it. I cannot wait to read what you write.

To try other writing exercises follow these links:

The First 3 pages: Part 1

The First 3 pages: Part 2

The First 3 pages: Part 3

 The first 3 pages: Part 4

The first 3 pages: Part 5

“That will end up in a book.”
 
If you spend any time around a writer you will hear that phrase. That is because so much of our writing is drawn from our personal experiences in one way or another. While most of my stories are not autobiographical [I don't stalk women based on a misinterpreted scripture, nor am I a college student in a small town trying to solve a murder], I have to admit that things that I experience do find their way in to my writing in one way or another.
 
Maybe it is the way I personally reacted to a breakup or disappointment. It could be that one of my characters is afraid of the same thing I am. These are all obvious and easy to do.
 
Have you ever considered bringing the dual nature of your personality in to your writing?
 
I am really a dichotomy. On the one hand, I am a successful speaker who really enjoys speaking to large groups. On the other hand, I am a total nerd who gets excited at the idea of doing research and looked forward to every term paper in college. My idea of a dream job would be sitting in a room full of ideas, articles, news reels, historical data, etc. and making sense of it all. Pecking away at a keyboard and discussing the implications with a coworker of similar temperment. Trying to find a pattern and constructing possible scenarios from it.
 
How do you reconcile the two? One is extremely extroverted, the other introverted. One thrives on feedback and the energy of a crowd, the other the quiet solitude of one’s own thoughts.
 
I guess you become a writer. That’s what I did.
 
Think about the contradictory things in you. Then take time to discover and deepen the contradictory nature of your main characters [including your villain]. Doing that will deepen your writing and create a more relatable story.

Learn how to get readers to pick you and your story by following these links:

Getting readers to pick you

How readers decide what to read

Presenting yourself well

Getting noticed by readers

Going on the hunt

Tiffany Colter is a writer, speaker and writing career coach who works with beginner to published writers. She can be reached through her website at http://www.writingcareercoach.com/
Tiffany is a speaker and teacher. Find out about available topics for your group’s next event.
Tiffany is a National Examiner. Read her articles here.
Learn more about Tiffany’s Marketing techniques on her main blog.
Common-sense money management is free at The Balanced Life website.
Read Tiffany’s award winning manuscript “A Face in the Shadow” on her fiction blog.
She writes a blog for the Christian writer Tuesdays at Writer’s Rest.

This weekend I took some time to listen to the teachings of a man [Dan Stratton] who formerly held a seat on the New York Mercantile exchange and grew from humble Midwest roots to going to Yale and earning a seven figure income. While that may be impressive, what impresses me most about him is his ability to not allow the cut-throat nature of the pits on Wall Street to make him cut corners or cheat.

In the discussion I was listening to he was focusing on integrity in our business dealings. He said at one point, and I’m paraphrasing, under promise and over deliver.

This struck me because a writer’s group I’m a part of had recently spent some time commenting on the lackluster performance of some books. This led to a rousing conversation on the strengths and weaknesses of certain books. It makes you cringe as an author. You wonder, “Is that what someone will say about my writing?”

I think these disappointments are even more prominent when expectations are raised beyond an author’s ability to deliver. There is a tendency to try to make our writing stand out, but it is done using compelling language that whets the appetite [good] and raises the expectations of a work artificially high [not good].

While I always encourage you to write the best possible hook, [see def. below] I don’t want you to become so obsessed that your hook over promises your craft. The hook should be the same flavor of the book and set the tone for the story.

Likewise, in your business, make sure that you can do what it is that you promise. Don’t get in over your head. All of us have unforeseen circumstances [the fact that my 6 year old daughter was up at 5:15am today with a very high temperature is the one in my life], but we should always plan them in to our work schedule. I set every Thursday as a “catch-up” day. I schedule little or nothing on that day in terms of work. If I am behind in projects, I can catch up. If I am caught up I can do Friday’s work [and get a 3 day weekend…unlikely] or spend time on my own projects [more likely].

By only promising what you can reasonably accomplish you will build a reputation of integrity and a happy clientele/ readership.

Hook=a short sentence or couple of sentences meant to grab the attention of a reader, editor or agent. You will also sometimes see this in reference to the opening of a book to. Ex. “The book opened with a strong hook.”

Tiffany Colter is a writer, speaker and writing career coach who works with beginner to published writers. She can be reached through her website at www.WritingCareerCoach.com
Tiffany is a speaker and teacher. Find out about available topics for your group’s next event.
Tiffany is a National Examiner. Read her articles here.
Learn more about Tiffany’s Marketing techniques on her main blog.
Common-sense money management is free at The Balanced Life website. [www.TheBalancedLife.com]
Read Tiffany’s award winning manuscript “A Face in the Shadow” on her fiction blog.
She writes a blog for the Christian writer Tuesdays at Writer’s Rest.[http://writersrest.blogspot.com]

When I’m editing I will occasionally throw out terms to clients. This weekend I was editing and I said they were using Stage Direction.

So what is Stage Direction?

In this posting I’ll give a quick example of Stage Direction and an idea for how to correct it. Think about what this really is. It is infusing emotion in to your story. It is causing your character to interact with the scene.

It is simply where you tell where they’re walking around or what they’re doing on the stage. Like in a play. the Stage Direction tells us where the character will be on the set at any given moment.

Compare:

He walked to the table and picked up the phone. He dialed the phone. No one answered. He hung it up. He walked to the kitchen and got a glass of milk.

vs.

He walked to the table and clicked on the light. The room was suddenly thrown from complete darkness to murky light covered in shadows. They sent an eerie chill through him. As if at any moment one of the shadows could come alive to stop him from calling Sally. He gently lifted the phones receiver and brought it to his ear. The hum of the dial tone grew louder as he held it against his head. A sound behind him made him stop. He pulled the phone away and watched around the room. But no monster awaited. No shadow had morphed to reveal a ghoul. He held the phone away as he pushed in the seven numbers. The phone droned out a distant ring.

rrring. One. He watched. His back to the wall, eyes patrolling the darkness. Ears alert to unusual sounds.

rrring. Two.

The phone continued it’s waiting but by the tenth ring he silenced it with a clang.

He walked from the room without cutting off the light. If someone were watching the house they’d assume he was up there. That would give him precious moments to make his escape.

He tiptoed from the room and down the steps. The thudding of his heart outpaced the ticking of the grandfather clock by two. tick–thud, thud–tock. He stepped in the kitchen and pulled down a glass. Suddenly he craved a glass of milk and the comfort it had always given him as a boy.

Okay, I’m sure you see a clear difference. One just tells you what he is doing. The other gives you a sense of his motivation and reaction to his environment. The first, we don’t know what the person is thinking or feeling. Nor do we know why. In the second we experience the scene.

Hope that helps.

Tiffany Colter is a writer, speaker and writing career coach who works with beginner to published writers. She can be reached through her website at www.WritingCareerCoach.com
Learn more about Tiffany’s Marketing techniques on her main blog.
Common-sense money management is free at The Balanced Life website.
Read Tiffany’s award winning manuscript “A Face in the Shadow” on her fiction blog.
She writes a blog for the Christian writer Tuesdays at Writer’s Rest.